“My soul is impatient with itself as with a bothersome child; its restlessness keeps growing and is forever the same. Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. I attend to everything, dreaming all the while. I’m two, and both keep their distance. Siamese twins that aren’t attached.”
Fernando Pessoa | The Book of Disquiet
Artist’s statement
“Everything Interests Me, But Nothing Holds Me” represents my journey as a queer immigrant in an experimental film language inspired by Fernando Pessoa’s “The Book of Disquiet.” It comprises a series of raw images and sounds that are turbulent, candidly exploring the relentless cycles of time, solitude and escape in a collapsing world that is on the verge of imploding on itself. Within this narrative, contradictory emotions, thoughts, and desires coalesce, giving rise to a profound yearning for something that has never existed before.
The film’s concept originated from my intense reaction to nearly two decades of working in the mainstream Egyptian film industry. In stark contrast to projects involving millions of Egyptian pounds, hundreds of professionals, and expensive equipment, I found immense pleasure and relief in working with raw material, all shot on mobile phones, preserving its native form with minimal alteration. My intention was to capture details that compelled me in my surroundings, particularly experiences that embodied both physical and metaphorical manifestations of my yearning for liberation.
“Everything Interests Me, But Nothing Holds Me” is an ongoing project that will continue to evolve organically. It intentionally deconstructs the linearity of a traditional film, granting viewers absolute freedom to construct their own narrative in their imagination, based on when they begin and end their viewing experience. There is no imposed chronology, except within the filmmaker’s mind. Starting from that point, viewers can embark on their unique journey based on their individual feelings at the moment.
As a film editor, I believe that editing is a god-like act of manipulating time, space, and emotions. I seek to revive editing’s roots and artistic purity, focusing on its psychological impact on the viewer, as exemplified by concepts like the Kuleshov Effect and Sergei Eisenstein’s notes on editing theory, which have been overshadowed. I aimed to maintain the audio in its raw state, mirroring the abruptness and distortions present in the images. The soundscape created for the project encompasses both musical and non-musical instruments, offering a rich and immersive auditory experience to accompany what I hope will be a raw and vulnerable visual self-portrait.
ZIYAD HAWWAS 